Are you a parent dealing with frequent night wakings in your little one? Do the hours leading up to bedtime give you anxiety because you never know what kind of night you’re going to have? You are not alone. As a Certified Pediatric Sleep Consultant, I work with families everyday solving their baby or child’s night wakings and going from up all night to sleeping through the night in 2 weeks or less. In my 3 years working with children ages 0-9, I have observed three most common causes of night wakings. Understanding the underlying causes of night wakings can help you address them effectively and I am explaining them here.
Here are the top three causes of night wakings explained:
1. Sleep Associations: Child-led vs. Parent Led
A sleep association is anything a person needs in order to fall asleep. For us grown ups it’s likely a certain pillow, blanket, sleep position, possibly the TV being on (not so healthy but that’s for another blog), or something of the sort.
For babies and young children, I categorize sleep associations as either child-led or parent-led. Child-led associations are those that the child is capable of fully doing for themselves without any assistance from a caregiver. Examples include a baby rocking themselves back and forth, kicking their legs, or moving into a comfy sleep position, sucking on fingers or a sleep sack, playing with their hair, snuggling with a lovey, cooing, babbling or a toddler singing and talking to themselves. These are all things the child can do independently to settle into sleep and then continue to do throughout the night as they transition between sleep cycles.
Parent-led associations occur when parents (or caregivers) are doing something in order to get their child to sleep. For babies this may be rocking, feeding, or bouncing on a yoga ball until the baby falls asleep. It could also be the need for movement to fall asleep like a stroller, car ride, swing or vibrating chair. Another common one is a parent reinserting the pacifier multiple times a night so the baby can fall back to sleep. For older kiddos, the most common parent-led association is a parent laying with them until they fall asleep or that the child comes into the parent’s room multiple times a night needing the parents again.
Now let me be clear, neither is “good” or “bad”! This is important because I get on so many Intro Calls with parents that say “I’m doing everything wrong” or “I’m creating bad habits” referring to parent-led associations. I will never tell you what you are doing is bad. Instead, I will ask you, “Is it sustainable?” That’s the big question when it comes to sleep associations. Is the sleep association sustainable? Or are you going bananas rocking your baby to sleep for an hour each night? Or laying with your preschooler until they fall asleep only to have them come into your room five times each night?
The thing about parent-led sleep associations is that while they can initially be helpful in falling asleep, they can become problematic when the child wakes up during the night and requires the same thing to go back to sleep because this is the only way they know how to fall asleep. In other words, when they have normal partial awakenings when transitioning between sleep cycles they need that thing you did to get them to fall asleep once again.
How to Address It:
- Teach independent sleep skills using a sleep training method of your choice. (Yes, there are more options than ‘cry it out’ and I don’t teach that method. Check them out here.)
- Have a clear plan on how you will handle night wakings and follow it consistently.
- Get help! Working with a sleep consultant like me can make all the difference!
2. Being Overtired
If you’re a client, you know I always say: “Overtiredness is the ENEMY of consolidated sleep!” When babies and young children become overtired, their bodies go into fight or flight mode and produce the stress hormones, cortisol and adrenaline. This makes it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. In other words, more difficult bedtimes, increased night wakings and early morning wake ups. All of the things we don’t want!
How to Address It:
- Establish an age-appropriate nap schedule to ensure your child gets enough daytime sleep.
- Watch for early sleepy cues and start the nap or bedtime before your child becomes overtired.
- Stick to a consistent sleep schedule, including consistent bedtime and wake-up times, to regulate your child’s internal clock.
3. Unnecessary Night Feedings
While night feedings are essential for newborns and young infants, they can become unnecessary as babies grow older. Some babies develop a habit of waking up for feedings out of comfort rather than hunger. This can lead to unnecessary night wakings for both the child and you! If you are a breastfeeding mama, it’s important to know you can 100% continue your breastfeeding relationship while improving sleep for your little one.
How to Address It:
- Use an eat-play-sleep daytime routine to avoid a feeding to sleep association.
- Assess your baby’s feeding patterns during the day to ensure they are getting enough calories during waking hours.
- Work on full daytime feeds.
- Check with your pediatrician about how many night feedings your baby needs.
- Gradually reduce nighttime feedings by offering smaller amounts.
- Offer comfort and reassurance during night wakings without immediately resorting to feeding.
I hope understanding these top three causes of night wakings will empower you to address your sleep challenges effectively. If you want one-on-one support, I would love to chat on an Intro Call about options for working together!
Sweet Dreams, Stephanie